Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dr. McDreamy

March 27, 1999
Molly, Lauren, Sophie, Me, Mike, Jonathan, and Jason

Show Us Your Life at Kelly’s Korner is asking for bloggers to submit their best marriage advice and although I wrote this back in October of last year, I submit this post today as my best marriage advice evah!

Today I wanted to share about something Mike and I do whenever we have an argument, disagreement or any type of conflict or strife. Approximately six or seven years ago, we started a conflict resolution solution that seriously works to the point of healing all grudges, bitterness, friction and gunk! The Lord taught this method of conflict resoulution to us and it is completely failproof because it is of Him.

Whenever the "fight or conflict" occurs, the "bigger" Christian (LOL! The one most willing to humble themself) at the time will encourage the other to walk together to a quiet place (bedroom) where we both get on our knees and pray something like, "Father, we have sinned against You. We ask for Your forgiveness in dishonoring You by how we have spoken or treated each other. Then we look at one another and ask forgiveness of each other. We tell each other we are sorry. We ask the LORD to completely heal the hurt and pain we've inflicted upon one another (and we mean it! If not, repeat the process!!! This takes humbling oneself). By humbling ourselves before the LORD, He has never failed to come through and completely heal our wounds. This way, we never carry unforgiveness into the relationship and thus, our marriage remains healthy. I am not saying this is easy. Pride is stubborn and admitting our wrongs is terribly hard at times. But if you choose to trust God and go with Him here, HE works!! He heals!!! Usually within one hour, the feeling of hostility subsides toward my mate as God supernaturally displaces it with love. This IS supernatural!!! I completely forget the angst or inner turmoil that previously consumed me. Then when I see or hang with him as our day progresses, he is back to "Dr. McDreamy" to me in my heart and in my mind. Only the supernatural power of God's Holy Spirit can do that kind of divine work.

Hanging onto unforgiveness can kill a marriage! We know. This is the second marriage for both of us. Oh, wait, one more tidbit of advice......PRAY TOGETHER. Push through any awkwardness and do it!!!! Pray, pray, pray!!!! That is all.

James 4:7-10 says it perfectly, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you......Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up."

Also, 1 Peter 5:5b says, "All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Psalm 51:4a "Against You, You only, have I sinned." (NIV note: David acknowledges that his sin was preeminently against God)


dale carroll coleman said...

I love this idea, makes so much sense!! going to show it to bob so i can have a Dr McDreamy too!


Lori Alexander said...

This is SO good. I have been mentoring women for the past 8 years and I encourage them to not argue. Learn how to discuss things without arguing. I argued with my husband for 23 years and not at all the past 8 years so Iknow it is possible! God tells us not to argue and He gives us the power to obey Him!